Big Ten New Pledge Meeting

Jim Delany stands next to an overhead projector:

JIM DELANY: Nebraska Cornhuskers.

A picture pops on the screen:

JIM DELANY:  All in favor?

Murmurs of agreement from the current Big Ten members.

PURDUE: We need the dues.

JIM DELANY: Good.  Nebraska is now a pledge to the Big Ten.  Next slide, please.

As Maryland's picture comes up: 

Boos, screams and looks of horror fill the room.

JIM DELANY: Just a minute!  Just a minute!  This is Maryland.  He's a legacy from the ACC.

More boos and shouts of disagreement.

Michigan AD Dave Brandon glances at OSU AD Gene Smith sitting next to him.

Straightening his "legacy v-neck sweater," Brandon stands and addresses the others:

DAVE BRANDON:  Okay, Maryland is a real loser.  That's true.  But let's just think back to when you guys got accepted to the Big Ten.

DAVE BRANDON: Sparty, you had an academic reputation just this side of Eastern Michigan.  And Ohio State here, everybody thought that the Buckeyes were brain damaged.  I myself was so superior, I asked Minnesota to play for a trophy in a rivalry game then beat them like 70 out of the first 75 times we played.  So Maryland is a total loser?  Let me tell you the story of another loser...

They all start throwing beer cans at Brandon.

(HT: phil for the awesome idea!)