Tressel-I-am!

Two weeks ago - before Yahoo! Sports posted a story claiming that Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew about Buckeye players trading merchandise for free tattoos more than eight months before the school said it was made aware of the allegations - The Vest was photographed reading Dr. Seuss books to a group of school children in Ohio:

Well, in light of the recent allegations in C-bus, may we suggest the following for The Vest's next reading to the kids:

 An excerpt:

We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked!
And we saw him!
Terrelle and his tats!
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?
I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny.
But we can have lots of fun
Lots of fun with booster money!"


"I know some good bars to go to,"
Said the QB.
"We can drive in the new car
The new car dealer just loaned me!
We will take the car, take the car out for a ride.
My coach
Does not care, so I have nothing to hide!"


Then Sally and I
Did not know what to say.
But Terrelle said Coach Tressel
Would look the other way.


But our fish said, "No! No!
Make Terrelle go away!
Tell that Cat with the Tats
You do NOT want to play.
He should not be here,
He should be on probation!
He should be suspended
With the rest of Buckeye Nation!"


"Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!" said the QB
"I won't get caught
Since my coach just ignores me.
Why, we can have
Lots of fun doing my thing
With a game that I call
Selling my championship ring!"

An excerpt:

I do not like the game's laws and its rules
I do not like them, they're only for fools
I did not like them during the days of Clarett
I do not like them nor have been busted just yet
I let Terrelle Pryor get his free tats
Then claimed, "Oh, I did not know about that!"
I do not like the rules they have about class
The N-C-A-A can kiss my Vest-wearing ass
I do not like the rules out on the field
And if we get busted, I'll surely appeal
I do not like the rules here in the 'Shoe
And our fans do not care as long as I beat the Blue
I do not like rules here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!